We Can Work It Out: How to Solve Conflicts, Save Your Marriage (Perigee)

Based on national studies of more than one thousand couples, a three-part program guarantees that each partner's feelings be expressed and understood, helps couples identify factors and underlying principles that create successful marriages, and guides them to positive change. Reprint.

Price: $15.95

Click here to buy from Amazon

The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No

No is perhaps the most important and certainly the most powerful word in the language. Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say No–to people at work, at home, and in our communities–because No is the word we must use to protect ourselves and to stand up for everything and everyone that matters to us.

But as we all know, the wrong No can also destroy what we most value by alienating and angering people. That’s why saying No the right way is crucial. The secret to saying No without destroying relationships lies in the art of the Positive No, a proven technique that anyone can learn.

This indispensable book gives you a simple three-step method for saying a Positive No. It will show you how to assert and defend your key interests; how to make your No firm and strong; how to resist the other side’s aggression and manipulation; and how to do all this while still getting to Yes. In the end, the Positive No will help you get not just to any Yes but to the right Yes, the one that truly serves your interests.

Based on William Ury’s celebrated Harvard University course for managers and professionals, The Power of a Positive No offers concrete advice and practical examples for saying No in virtually any situation. Whether you need to say No to your customer or your coworker, your employee or your CEO, your child or your spouse, you will find in this book the secret to saying No clearly, respectfully, and effectively.

In today’s world of high stress and limitless choices, the pressure to give in and say Yes grows greater every day, producing overload and overwork, expanding e-mail and eroding ethics. Never has No been more needed. A Positive No has the power to profoundly transform our lives by enabling us to say Yes to what counts–our own needs, values, and priorities.

Understood this way, No is the new Yes. And the Positive No may be the most valuable life skill you’ll ever learn!


From the Hardcover edition.

Price: $16.00

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How to Save Your Marriage Alone

Preview: I have the privilege of counseling people from all over the world in the area of love, sex, and marriage from the biblical and medica

Price: $3.99

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BMV Quantum Subliminal CD Save Your Marriage (Ultrasonic Subliminal Series)

Program your subconscious mind to save your marriage. Overcome martial problems, solve your marital issues and stop your divorce before it starts. Using exclusive state-of-the-art subliminal and brainwave entrainment technologies, you can program your subconscious mind for positive lasting results, created by a Certified Hypnotherapist and NLP Practitioner (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). Silent affirmations, inaudible hypnotic suggestions and thousands of powerful subliminal messages program your subconscious mind for positive results. The first 3 tracks have an ocean background. The Silent Ultrasonic Track 4 is completely silent with no sound at all! BMV exclusive Quantum Subliminal Matrix Technology sets a new standard for the subliminal industry! BMV has merged existing subliminal neurotechnology with many new exclusive technologies to create the most powerful CDs on the market. This CD contains the following audio neurotechnologies to maximize your results: *Ultra-Silent Ultrasonic Subliminal Frequency Modulation Technology- All subliminal messages are modulated to ultrasonic ranges (higher frequencies) for full meta-programming with no audible sounds at all on Track 4! You can use this powerful broadcast of silent subliminals in any setting! Program yourself anywhere, anytime! *Multi-channel Subliminal Replication Technology- 100 times more subliminal messages makes it 100 times more powerful than other subliminal tapes or CDs. *Autonomic Audio Pacing Technology- Relaxed heartbeat and breathing patterns cause physiological responses that trigger deep progressive relaxation to maximize your results. *Brainwave Entrainment Technology- Embedded binaural beat frequencies and monaural tones create hemispheric synchronization while tuning your brainwaves to specific frequencies that are most effective for subliminal programming. *Monaural entrainment tones- No need for headphones!

Price:

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Tips To Getting Your Ex-Wife or Ex-Girlfriend - Reinvent Your Sex Life

Fantastic, you finally got your wife to agree to go on a “make up date”.  She has accepted your heartfelt and sincere apology.  She has agreed to give you one more chance and has finally accepted your suggestion of “coffee” at your place. 

Take time out to be romantic again as if you were in the first stages of your relationship.  Do all the things you used to take for granted before like opening the car door for her, sending her flowers or surprising her with her favorite meal, delivered in person at lunch time or spontaneously arrive with the meal on her doorstep. It’s the little things that count. 

Moving on from that first “reunion” date, take time for each other whenever possible. Get the idea out of your heads that sex must happen at night in the bedroom.  Pretend you are teenagers dating and if you get the opportunity to be intimate with your partner, take it!

We all know that women are hard to read, saying no when they mean yes, saying they are fine when they’re not and cry for just about any reason under the sun.  You need to approach with caution. You need to listen carefully to what she has to say because women always provide subtle hints to what it is they really do what.

Keep your promises, especially if you have let her down before and whilst you don’t have to promise them the world, if you say you are going to call her back straight away then make sure you do.  It is so important to keep your word.  You have let her down with trust before, so if you don’t prove your trust with an issue as small as this, rest assured, there is no chance of gaining it in other more important areas.

10 Tips To Get Your Spouse To Be Attracted To You Again! and a Christmas Bonus

Found this great article written by Melody Chase titled "10 Tips To Get
Your Spouse To Be Attracted To You Again!"

It happens to the best of us, for one reason or another
your partner is not physically attracted to you anymore.

Your partner may be stressed or distracted, emotionally
shutdown due to a build up of relationship deficiencies
and toxicities including loss of respect or judgment of
you, or he/she is having an affair or the two of you are
on a relationship break or are already broken up. 

Whatever the case may be if the attraction was once there
then it is possible to get that attraction back. 

The following are 10 Simple Tips that can reignite that
flame in your relationship: 

1) Be Detached:
When we are attached to anything in our life, we have a
tendency to make decisions based on fear or desperation
when it comes to what it is that we are attached to and
nothing repels a person more than someone who is coming
across as desperate. So when you get into a state of
detachment you win in at least two ways 

a) You are centered enough to make rational, functional decisions 

b) You do not care about the outcome of  the situation so you
will come across as stable and confident.

2) Be Confident: 
Speaking of being confident, the reality is being
confident is attractive and appealing and these are the
two things that you want to be to your partner. So fake it
if you have to but make it your mission to look, feel and
just plain be confident about yourself. 

3) Be Just a Tad Flirty: 
Less is more - flirt just a little bit so your partner
gets a hint of what you are like when you flirt.  Be like
a Movie Trailer Teaser so your partner is left wanting
more, even just simple things like if you are a woman -
flipping your hair back or playing with your necklace as
examples. 

4) Look Good Without Over Doing It: 
Getting a complete make-over and plastic surgery gives the
impression that you have an agenda to get your partner
back and/or attracted to you and if he/she is not ready,
this will push him/her away, so just subtly dress a little
bit more provocatively and put some highlights in your
hair and a little more make-up, maybe a new perfume or
cologne etc.

5) Match Level of Physical Commitment: 
At our Centre we talk about Matching Level of Commitment
meaning that if you pursue someone the other person's 1st
instinct if he (she) is at a different level of commitment
is to run away - therefore you must match his/her level of
commitment. The same goes for physical commitment, if
he/she steps back, you step back, he/she moves in closer,
you move in closer and then every once in a while throw in
a little brush of a leg or an arm "by accident" so there
is a little element of surprise. 

6) Compliment: 
If your partner has closed him/herself off physically from
you there is usually an underlying emotional reason, so
might as well make any interaction that you have with your
partner an emotionally pleasant one and give compliments
to your partner whenever possible without over doing it,
this will warm him/her up both emotionally and physically.

7) Be Unconditional:
Let's face it the world is a conditional place, so one of
the best ways to help let your partner's guard down is by
being unconditionally loving towards him or her, no matter
what he (she) is doing or saying or not doing or saying -
love him/her anyway. Even if you don't say it out loud,
make a decision to feel this way towards him (her) as well
as not criticize him/her about anything and he (she) will
begin to physically loosen up as well as emotionally begin
letting his/her guard down.

8) Be Fun Without Overdoing It:
O.k. no swinging off the chandelier, being too much fun
indicates that you are trying too hard, so just be fun in
an easy, breezy relaxed way and your partner will follow
suit. Plus laughter is a great bonding experience and
promotes the release of the feel good brain chemical
Serotonin, so your partner will be able to connect and
have a sense of well-being around you. 

9) Validate:
Nothing shuts a person down more than constantly being
invalidated and since everything is made up of energy,
your partner's interest and energy for sex is going take a
plunge as well, so try out an experiment and see what
happens if you keep validating your partner even if he/she
is completely wrong in his (her) views and see how much more
affectionate and attracted he (she) will be towards you over
time. 

10) Be Open To Others Flirting With You: 
You may be one of those people who are 100% loyal and
attentive to your partner and the thought of you flirting
with others makes you cringe. However, in this situation a
little, just a touch of flirting with others is just what
it takes to make your partner realize that other people
find you attractive. A little flirting with others will
get your partner thinking that he or she may be missing
out on something or is going to miss out on something if
he (she) doesn't start reconsidering his/her current
decision of not giving you the time of day romantically,
physically or sexually.

So these tips may sound simple but simplicity is a good
thing so that you do not push your partner further away,
with just the right balance of detachment and interest
before you know it you will literally be back in the arms
of your partner. 
 

For more information on how to put the spark back in your relationship and 

to build a strong intimate relationship foundation for you and your partner 

check out our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Relationship Program when you 

click on Counseling For Marriage.

===========================================================
Melody Chase is a Relationship Counsellor and Writer at
the Centre For Life Management. If you wish to save your
Marriage or relationship alone, we can help! Check out 
our breakthrough Counsellor in a Box" system by clicking on
Counseling For Marriage

The Christmas Sale for "Counsellor In A Box" Program ends 
at midnight on 17th December. If you'd like to get this 
revolutionary training system to save your Relationship 
or Marriage...and save $20 off the normal price, then go 
here now:
=> Counseling For Marriage

Check this great Christmas Bonus just for you -> Christmas Bonus

Why and When Do Marriages Go Bad?

Why and When Do Marriages Go Bad?
Melody Chase
Counsellor In A Box

I’m not sure who is more shocked when a marriage goes bad, the couple who started off so in love and looking forward towards their future together or the couple’s friends and relatives who looked up to them as been the perfect couple and role model for others in relationships.

However, marriages going bad can happen to anyone and it can sneak up on a loving and committed couple as quickly as it can for an incompatible and dysfunctional couple.

So that leads to three common questions for couples:
1. Why do marriages go bad?
2. When do marriages go bad?
3. Is there anything that can be done to either prevent or reverse the downfall of a relationship?

All three questions can be answered by examining the following Three Major Negative Benchmarks that can occur in a relationship:

1) Taking Each Other For Granted: A marriage can take a downwards turn when a couple starts taking each other for granted.

They get used to their routines and activities of daily life, they are busy, being pulled in many different directions as well as stressed and tired.

The couple doesn’t realize or have never been told about the importance of keeping each other’s relationship, love and respect for each other as the center focus and anchor of their lives together.
If they don’t put their relationship front and center they will get whisked off by external factors and lulled by the inertia of the familiar interactions between the two of them.

Eventually it is like being strangers living in the same home together who don’t even bother to think of the other person anymore.

So the easy solution is to start focusing on each other again. Start doing activities together alone that focus on one another, start going on full out dates, (flowers, gifts, dinner, leave the house and pick your spouse up even though you live together.)

Do things to show appreciation for your partner, in the ways that your partner would feel appreciated and don’t forget to be spontaneous – whether that is out of the blue for no reason telling your partner you love him/her or surprise him/her with a gift - just do something you normally don’t do to breathe some new life into the monotony of daily living.

2) Great Dividers of Love: In many of our books including our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Program we talk about what we call the Great Dividers of Love.

The Great Dividers of Love are a build-up of emotions such as resentment, judgment, disappointment and loss of respect that cause couples to shutdown their love towards their partner.
When love is shutdown in a relationship, a couple loses their connection, their intimacy and what holds their relationship together.

The result is you will get an emotionally shutdown couple who really doesn’t care for each other anymore and have nothing to inspire them to keep their relationship alive.

So as a couple or individually each partner needs to release and heal all the emotions that have built up so the love, which is still alive deep down underneath can resurface and breathe again.

3) Toxicity and Deficiency Overload: If a couple is not completely compatible and if they do not have relationship training or what we call at our LMC Relationship Centre “Relationship Mastery” as well as if each member of the couple has dysfunctional behaviors caused by unresolved past wounds and experiences – the relationship is going to be full of toxicities and deficiencies.

Simply put - toxicities are things in your relationship that you don’t want and deficiencies are things that you want and you are not getting in your relationship.

A relationship that has a lot of toxicities and deficiencies can only be resilient for so long, then they will become overloaded.

The couple will either then start to destruct the relationship, self-destruct or start to avoid each other because of all the negative conditioning built-up from all the toxicity and deficiency.

If a car hasn’t had an oil change for a long time, the build-up in the oil will cause the car to stop functioning properly and eventually break down.

If a car runs out of oil, the car will stop functioning.

When it comes to our car, we know or someone else will tell us that we have to deal with the “toxicities” (oil change) or deficiencies (need to put in more oil) or our car isn’t going to run.

Our relationships isn’t any different, eventually the relationship isn’t going to work anymore unless the toxicities and deficiencies are dealt with.

Unfortunately most people are not aware of that and no one tells them in such a straightforward manner as the attendant at the gas station who says “Hey would you like an oil change or would you like me to fill up your oil?

Systems have been developed to deal with oil in your car.

The goods news is that systems have also been developed for dealing with your toxicities and deficiencies in your relationship.

The first step is awareness.
The next step is finding these systems, such as our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Program that includes learning how to heal past wounds and release emotions, learning basic relationship mastery skills like how to have functional communication, conflict resolution and negotiation, as well as how to fill in compatibility gaps so everyone can get their needs met in the relationship.

So when you deal with these major benchmarks in your relationship, the turning point can be reversed - what was once a marriage in a negative downwards spiral will now be a marriage on a positive upwards spiral towards a functional, healthy and happy relationship.